


sorry, the old yuuri can't come to the phone right now.  why?  because he was embarrassing and i killed him.

by derheck



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Gen, but like... platonic gay, loosely based on real events, phichit and yuuri are best friends and they're so gay together, text fic, what events? the world may never know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 04:53:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12028527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derheck/pseuds/derheck
Summary: (03:28) anyway remember when how we first met(03:29) sorry, I should be more specific..(03:29) remember that self-insert body swap rpf u wrote in middle school lmaoAka Phichit takes a trip down memory lane at three in the morning.  There's a reason Yuuri doesn't go on the internet anymore.





	sorry, the old yuuri can't come to the phone right now.  why?  because he was embarrassing and i killed him.

**Author's Note:**

> this seemed like a great idea at the time  
> (s/o to laur for helping w the production of this)
> 
> phichit is normal text and yuuri is bold text

(03:27) hey  
  
(03:27) babe  
  
(03:27) yuuri  
  
(03:28) shit ur probably asleep  
  
(03:28) anyway remember when how we first met  
  
(03:29) sorry, I should be more specific..

(03:29) remember that self-insert body swap rpf u wrote in middle school lmao  
  
(03:30) I’m reading our old messages and also ur old fanfics.. i’m crying

(03:30) “Viktor, the best ice skater in the world and Yuki, a nobody swap bodies…. for 3 weeks.  IS THIS CREEPY CHANGE THE FATES CONTROLLING THEIR LOVE LIVES?  Hopefully they are being pushed together… I SUCK AT SUMMARIES!  PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!! Viktor x OC don’t like don’t read!”

(03:31) this is amazing

(03:33) "Yuu-kun: Hi, this is my first FanFic, so if it sucks… please don’t be mean (actually this is my first FanFic alone, because I am working on one with a different account, which is a collab about, YuuSquared).  Anyways! The events in this FanFic are just a product of my twisted mind, and I mean no disrespect to the people this is based off x) *stops mid ramble… blushes* And without further ado…. I present to you Chapter One: Close To You."

(03:33)  "Yuu-kun" REMEMBER WHEN

(03:37) "I watch the beautiful, silver haired teen glide on the ice looking graceful and making it look as if his ice skating was effortless.  His long silver locks dance in the wind and my breath catches as the light hits it just right making it look more beautiful than a sea of diamonds.   His cerulean blue orbs look into the camera and make it seem as if he stares into my own dark chocolate brown eyes, seeming to look into my soul.  I gasp a little and feel a blush creep over my face."

(03:37) YUURI THIS IS ART.  YOU SPENT LIKE 2 PARAGRAPHS JUST DESCRIBING URSELF LUSTING OVER VIKTOR 

(03:39) “Oh Viktor” I think dreamily “What wouldn’t I give to be closer to you?”

(03:39) YUURI I’M CRYING THS IS SO BAD.  IN LIKE THE ABSOLUTE BEST WAY. 

(03:59) yuuri how did yuki manage to skate viktor's program perfectly with no practice whatsoever 

(04:00) oh thats right yuki was a viktor stan and a naturally talented skater also true love 

(04:16) "I stare at his lips mesmerized by how pink they are and by how plump they are.  They're beautiful, just like the rest of his face and his whole being honestly. " 

(04:16) b abe

(04:20) i do love how specific this chain of events was tho, like viktor was in japan for a tournament and was close enough that yuki could go find his body/Viktor and they figured out what was happening this honesty so great 

(05:12) YUURI I'M CRYING U WERE SO IN LOVE WITH VIKTOR 

(05:12) AND LOOK ATHOW THINGS HAVE WORKED OUT FOR YOU NOW

(05:12) BABY YUURI WOULD DIE FROM HAPPINESS 

(06:01) WHY DID U DO THE MISUNDERSTANDING TROPE

(06:02) VIKTOR U FOOL!! YUKI'S SISTER WAS TALKING ABOUT HIM BEING IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!!!!! STO P BEING SAD

(07:43) Yuu-kun: Never fear my faithful readers, it is I!  Hehe, I’m sorry this has taken me so long to update… I think I’m just too sad that this is all going to be over so soon x’(  Special shout out to Yuu-chan for helping me brainstorm everything for this FanFic and for cheering me on! And a big thank you to you, the Reader, for sticking through this whole thing!!! I lurves you.  And now… the moment.. we have all been waiting for……… Chapter 20:  Cherry Blossom. 

(07:43) i can't believe i've been reading ur self insert body swap fanfic instead of sleeping 

(07:43) it has been... hoURSS

(07:43) ragrets? i have none 

(07:45) I look at Viktor… the actual Viktor, not Me-Viktor and my eyes begin to fill with tears.  “Why do you cry?” he asks me, his finger lightly tracing up my cheek and stopping my tears.  We stand under a cherry blossom tree in the park, the cherry blossom petals falling as gracefully as he dances on the ice.

(07:45) I REMEMBER CRYING AT THIS PART LMAO

 (07:46) “Because it will be over soon… You have to go back to Russia and I have to stay here in Japan” I whispered heartbroken. 

His eyes widened in surprise. 

“Yuki” he said gasping surprised.  “I thought you knew?’

“Knew what”

“That I had planned to stay here… With you”

(07:47) I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M IN MY 20s CRYING OVER YOUR OC AND VIKTOR BEING IN LOVE

(07:48) YUURI THEY ONLY KNEW EACH OTHER FOR 3 WEEKS HOW WERE THEY SO IN LOVE 

(07:49) OH MY GOD ... they were _soulmates_

(07:54) I'm reading the comments now and some ppl were so into it they were giving u concrit and everything damn 

(07:55) I FOUND IT

(07:55) MY COMMENT

(07:55) Hamster-chan: *gasp* it's over! anyway, this really was an awesome fic, and what makes it even awesomer!!!!!!!! is that it was the first fic I ever read ever. lol, I'm forcing my hates-reading-to-death friend to read this against his will >:3c , its that superiorly awesome ~Hamster-chan (ps I’m sorry I just now am leaving a review …. Orz )

(07:56) baby me was such a dork oh my god i love him

(07:57) i can't believe you even replied back... i can't believe this fic is the reason we're friends now... 

**(08:01) hey phichit**

**(08:01) remember kyle hamm**

**(08:03) ur oc, who like tarzan was raised by wild animals, except instead of gorillas it was hamster farmers.  and who held world records in all categories and started skating senior division at age 8.**

**(08:04) "he can do all the quintuple jumps" i think u once said**

(08:05) FUCK YEA I REMEMBER KYLE HAMM, MY SON AND LIGHT OF MY LIFE 

(08:06) I still roleplay my dude ky on skating forums 

(08:06) also kyle/yuki still has a small but impressively dedicated fan base

**(08:07) oh my god**

 

**Author's Note:**

> kyle is a Bread (TM) original  
> other kyle things: "he's really good at stuffing things in his mouth and also crawling into places he shouldn't be. like the fucking air vents for two days." 
> 
> thanks for reading (there will maybe be more stuff for this series who knows)  
> i'm on tumbgl @torodokis


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